Sometimes Presence Is Louder Than Cheering

I saw a video once — shown to parents at the start of my son’s first swim season — that completely changed how I think about the sidelines.

The video flipped the perspective and had kids talk about what it actually feels like when parents watch them play sports. And what really stuck with me was that a lot of the things parents yell — things we genuinely think are supportive — are the things kids say stress them out the most.

“Go!” “Push harder!” “Focus!” “You’ve got this!” “Come on, faster!”

Even though it’s meant to be encouraging, kids explained that it often just adds pressure. It makes them more aware that they might mess up. The surprising part? Most kids said they actually don’t want to hear anything from the sidelines. They just want their parent to be there.

Sometimes just being there — quietly watching, and letting your child look over and see you — is the most supportive thing you can do.

Because I love sports and understand them pretty well, it would be easy for me to coach from the sidelines or yell suggestions. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized — sometimes presence really is louder than cheering. And I think that same idea extends way beyond sports. At school. At activities. At home. Kids don’t always need us to direct, correct, or narrate every moment. Sometimes they just need to look up and know we’re there. Because growth doesn’t happen when someone is constantly shouting instructions. It happens when kids feel safe enough to try.